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Where oh where has my little dog gone?

Jun 24th, 2009
by Amy.
3 comments

sadie

Does that look like the face of a crazy dog to you? I mean, I know she’s got a serious goof ball look, but not CRAZY?!?! Right?

Wrong! My dog is losing her shit right now. For the second night in a row I have come home to find her in the front yard waiting for us. Not good as both nights we left her inside the house.

She has been our dog for nearly three and a half years now. She is somewhere between four and five years old.

We rescued her from the Denver Dumb Friends League because of her gentle disposition and how absolutely loving she was. We had seen her picture on their web site and went the next day to meet her. We loved her. We adopted her.

She hadn’t been spayed yet, so they took care of that before they would let us bring her home. I picked her up straight outta surgery and she came to our house and slept for like four days straight. She laid right next to the bed and was angelic.

It appeared to us that although she was an Australian Shepherd mix of some sort she didn’t shed at all in the beginning. She also didn’t bark. We weren’t sure how it was possible but we had mistakenly thought we had adopted the World’s Most Wonderful Dog Ever. We love her to death, but boy, were we ever wrong.

About a week after we got her before we realized that her post-surgery hangover was wearing off, we left her locked in the kitchen. We came home from work to find that she had clawed her way into a bypass bathroom and into our bedroom. For whatever bizarro reason we had also closed the door from the bedroom into the living room so after she completely dismantled the bedroom (including pulling everything down in the closet and knocking over and killing the TV [exhibit A] ) she ATE A HOLE through the bedroom door [exhibit B].

Exhibit A

exhibit A

Exhibit B

exhibit B

Luckily Ciaran had a Kindergarten Thanksgiving project due that week and we were able to salvage some of her destruction and help him create a pretty cool turkey [exhibit C].

Exhibit C

exhibit C

They had told us at DDFL that she did not like being kenneled. I thought they were crazy and I intended to kennel train her to get this crazy behavior under control. She proceeded to dismantle every kennel we put her in from the inside out. Instead of Sadie we should have called her Houdini.

It got so bad that one day we came home to find that she had climbed on top of a dresser and flung herself through a plate glass window that was protected by security bars. The dog was nuts.

We started leaving her outside and she seemed fine with that. Then we moved into our current house. She found every possible way out of the backyard and once tried to follow my van the way I had driven only to be picked up a few blocks away by a very nice person who returned her crazy ass to me.

That’s when I found Aly. Aly had posted an ad on Craigslist as a dog walker. I called her in desperation. She showed up with her dog Clementine [exhibit D] who is basically Sadie’s sane twin sister. The one that didn’t get locked in the attic and left to escape by any means necessary. I am thoroughly convinced that whatever happened to Sadie before we got her directly involved being somehow abandoned in an enclosed place that she had to break free of.

Exhibit D

clementine

Anyway, back in the good old days when I had a job that paid real money, I hired Aly and Sadie got regular play dates at the park with Clementine. Then my job changed and Chris’ job changed and we were home all the time and I didn’t have a job that paid money so unfortunately Aly and Clemmy got cut from the budget.

And everything was fine until last summer. Sadie developed a hatred for our mailman and one day when we were all gone, she tore through the accordian-ish side of the window air conditioner so she could get into the back yard to bark at him louder.

Then she did that again. Then again. Until I rigged it so she couldn’t jump through there.

Then she was fine. Until yesterday.

Yesterday, while the boys and I were out to dinner, she climbed on top of the headboard of my son’s bed and ate through the cords on a wooden blind to make a hole big enough to be able to push her way out the screen. And she was in the front yard waiting for us when we got home.

I felt guilty for neglecting her (Chris has been gone for nearly 2 weeks now and I have been busy doing my job that pays no money and driving the boys to a million baseball games) so this morning I got up early and took her on a long run. Then took her on a long walk tonight before we left for the Rapid’s game.

And tonight I came home to find her once again in the front yard. We had left a side window open, in the kids’ room, over the other kid’s headboard and she had eaten through the cords on the wooden blinds to make a hole big enough so that she could jump up and push her way out through the screen into the dog run.

AND THEN, she dug a hole under the fence next to the rose bush RIGHT NEXT to the window in the dog run we built so she could watch the comings and goings of the front yard whenever she wants.

So tonight I gave her a benadryl to calm her poor nerves. And since it’s obvious she doesn’t like it when Chris is away for extended trips, we now know who gets the dog if we ever get a divorce.

Posted in: Daily.
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For me

Jun 23rd, 2009
by Amy.
2 comments

Today’s horoscope: You have the ability to keep on plodding through your work and almost nothing today will deter you from reaching your goals. It’s as if you have been supercharged with an extra dose of practical determination. Even if you have to fight for your beliefs, set your goals high and then go after them.

Today has been a big day. I am officially registered for my prerequisite classes at CCD so that I can hopefully start nursing school in a year and a half from now. I am so beyond excited that I have finally made the big first step in this journey a real thing.

It has taken me so long to get here. My whole life some might say. I tend to do things all backwards and hard. It’s tiring and I’m tired of it.

I’ve talked a lot here about the journey over the past nine years of my life. Some big parts of that journey I haven’t been able to share and I still can’t. But they have brought me to where I am today, made me the person who I am, and changed me irrevocably. They manifest themselves in everything I do and for a long time now they have paralyzed me.

Making the decision to go to nursing school was a reawakening of myself. It’s like all my metaphorical physical therapy has finally paid off and I can finally wiggle my toes. This has taken a lot out of me mentally too. I have been so afraid of the what-ifs that I haven’t given myself an opportunity to live. I have stagnated.

A good friend recently told me to look at myself in the mirror and bare my soul to myself. I tried and I couldn’t find it. It’s buried down in there doing the good work of taking care of my family but hiding from taking care of me. And I began to realize that the things that I need to take care of me aren’t the things I thought I needed.

So I’ve began the process of peeling back the layers to finding my naked soul so that I can stand in front of the mirror and look at it. I have to get through the mess of I’m-not-good-enoughs, I’m-not-smart-enoughs and I’m-not-pretty-enoughs and be able to look me in the soul and smile a smile of love. For me.

So, I’m sending myself to nursing school, because I know, somewhere in there, I’m smart enough to do science and once I get over that fear I can kick some ass in my science classes and move on to task of learning to become a nurse. I already love and thrive taking care of people. Why not get a piece of paper that allows me to get paid to do it?

And maybe, once I let myself work hard and be smart enough, then I can begin to be good enough for myself. Worthy of my own love. I won’t feel like I’ve wasted my life. For me.

Then I will stand before the mirror and look at myself and I won’t have to wonder where my soul is. It will be shining through. And it will be the prettiest thing I have ever seen. Me.

Posted in: About, Daily.
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Kitties in the sunshine

Jun 16th, 2009
by Amy.
3 comments

greeblepixentrybadge-783548

Every now and again I get the urge to enter a photograph in the monthly Greeblepix contest over at Aimee’s place. Since I am not known as the photographer in the family, I typically look through all the photos my husband or my son have taken, doctor them up with the limited skills I have using Picasa and enter them into the contest. I think I have entered 2 or 3 photos to date.

Well, this month’s theme is right up my alley. I am a cell phone photographer. Mostly I take pictures of flowers in my garden, or of the garden itself, or of my pets. Once I learned how to email the photos from my phone directly to Twitpic and Flickr and Facebook I was hooked on cell phone photography. Still not saying I am a wiz kid or anything, but I did get this awesome shot of the kitties sleeping in the sunshine by the front door. It’s pretty freaking cute. Imagine when I have an iPhone someday. I could win a Pulitzer or something.

kitties in the sunshine

So maybe if Aimee picks me as a finalist this month you will vote for me. If not for me then for the cuteness that is Athena and Artemis.

Posted in: Blogs I like, Daily, Daily Photo, Fun stuff.

I keep forgetting I’m going to BlogHer

Jun 8th, 2009
by Amy.
3 comments

”The

It looks like I’ll have to take lots of potty breaks to meet The Bloggess in person (but she’s one of the main reasons I’m going to BlogHer so it’s totally worth it), along with meeting other cool chicks like Sarcastic Mom and Mrs. Flinger and Secret Agent Mama (2 of which I have pretty good odds on going to bed with). So I’ve RSVPd for at least one party now. I wonder how many more I’ll have to sneak into because I wasn’t on Twitter enough to RSVP to all of them?

Posted in: Blogs I like, Daily, Travel.
Tagged: ·

Etsy Finds me purple today

Jun 2nd, 2009
by Amy.
1 comment

A comment on a Friday Etsy Finds post from April today encouraged me to dive into Etsy this afternoon. I love all of the rings from Boulder Glass Monkey but the Cosmopolitan Cocktail really caught my fancy today. After that I did a search for “purple ring” and these were some of my favorites. In addition to the Cosmo I was also enthralled my this City Skyline Fine Silver Cocktail Ring from Shimmer Design Studios so I must be in need of new jewelry and a drink today! The $350 price tag is a bit steep for me but a girl can always dream! Hope you enjoy!


Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all things handmade
apeck70.etsy.com

Posted in: Daily, Etsy.
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Best Compliment Ever

May 25th, 2009
by Amy.
3 comments

I am never surprised by how much we as parents can tear each other and ourselves down. Or maybe I am just speaking for myself. Trying to not be judgmental about other people’s parenting styles is like trying to not eat popcorn at the movie theater. You know it’s not good for you but you end up downing half the large bucket anyway. Which way be why what happened on Friday night took me by surprise.

Friday night during dinner with some friends I received what may have been the greatest compliment I have ever gotten. My friend Kendra (Liam’s best friend Zia’s mom) was talking about how another friend of ours was saying how now is the time when choosing our friends as adults is extremely important as they will be as influential as us, if not more so, in our kid’s lives.

Kendra then popped up and said, “That’s why I love it that Liam and Zia are such good friends and that we are such good friends with you!”

Posted in: Daily, Friends, Life with Children.

Sleepless in Denver

May 21st, 2009
by Amy.
4 comments

My cloud of depression has started to lift. I’ve had to come to terms with some things coming to a close in my life while new doors are opening themselves full of possibilities. Other things are maintaining the status quo and I’ve also had to come to terms with letting them be.

So I am doing good. I have embarked on my new eating plan. I am in a transitional phase that I am taking fairly seriously but not extremely. I’ll get to it. I’ve also taken measures to workout and spend time with my dog the last 2 days. I know, crazy right?

And while I’m feeling much better in general I am NOT sleeping!! Ugh! We are into open window season but not quite up to needing the roaring fan, but after last night where 2 sirens and at least 2 alley cat fights woke me out of my fitful slumber, I am thinking the white noise of the fan with be more than worth maybe needing an extra blanket to combat the chill it causes.

Also, I need to water and I was hoping it would have rained already. Guess I will head out and water now so I can assure it will rain this afternoon!

Posted in: Daily.

Super Speller & Fabulous Photographer

May 18th, 2009
by Amy.
4 comments

It’s not often I openly brag about my children. Most of my public spouting with regards to them is how crazy they make me or how much I love them. But today I just can’t stop myself.

Liam has been a spelling champion all year. As a first grader he has progressed onto what the teachers tell him are middle school level words. This week’s words came home today. They are the final words of the school year and the children were allowed to pick ten words that they were interested in learning. These are Liam’s words he chose (and which he already learned how to spell):

  1. Escape
  2. Review
  3. Determine
  4. Employee
  5. Dictionary
  6. Program
  7. Dangerous
  8. Tongue
  9. Conversation
  10. Condition

Ciaran snapped these photos at the Equal Marriage Rights Rally this weekend. He has been receiving lots and lots of praise. I would have to agree. They are awesome shots. I haven’t done any editing. Aimee, can you imagine how awesome they would be under your tutelage? (hint…hint…)

Posted in: Blogs I like, Daily, Life with Children.

Marriage Equality Rally

May 14th, 2009
by Amy.
No comments yet

Inspired by his neighbors who have a child, but were unable to officially get married in Colorado, Denver 3rd grader Ethan decided that marriage equality is a civil rights issue and that all people regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, color or race should have this right (as well as the responsibility that goes along with it). Ethan and his family are good friends of ours. I fully support him in this endeavor and hope you will too!

This is a copy of the flyer Ethan created for the rally. I am reprinting it with his mother’s permission.

Marriage Equality Now!

=

Traditional Marriage? No Such Thing!!

Don’t write discrimination into the U.S. Constitution.

This is about basic civil marriage!!

Rally at the West Steps of the

Colorado State Capitol

May 16 12:00-1:30

Arranged and planned by Ethan,

a third grader that believes everyone has the right to marry!

Posted in: Daily, Life with Children.

Depressed much?

May 13th, 2009
by Amy.
7 comments

I like to think of myself as a fairly happy person. I enjoy life. I engage in lots of different fun activities, am committed to being very active in my kids lives, I love working in my garden, and I love hanging out with my friends.

But the last few months have taken their toll on me and it’s effecting me in a variety of different ways. A current month long bout with depression is the most glaringly noticeable way.

I have played countless hours of solitaire. I have it on my computer and my iPod so I try not to be too far from it. I sit here when I should be writing and I move cards from one stack to the next for sometimes HOURS on end. I play before bed and lately while riding shotgun in the car. I am completely checked out. And I know it.

My work is suffering. Little mistakes are making a costly impact. I am definitely under water with it at work.

I haven’t blogged much except when BlogHer reminds me too or they will pull my ads. I put up some useless drivel. Whatever is on my mind at the moment and is easiest to talk about. I haven’t written an article for the Examiner and I haven’t read any other blogs either. I am fully immersed in my world of introspection. It’s a convoluted place right now.

Both sides of my family suffer from depression. Maybe everybody does to a certain extent. I have been here before. On the surface it would appear there is no indicator that it is coming on. Right now, for instance, it has everything to do with being over-committed in every facet of my life. Doing too much at work, doing too much at home, doing too much at school, doing too much socially. Before it has come on because I didn’t have enough to do. Not working, no friends around, stuck at home.

But looking closely at both those scenarios indicates to me that the problem has more to do with lack of balance than with being overly or under stimulated. So I shut down.

I was finally able to pull out of the fog last week. An offhand Twitter about my depression induced paralysis led to some lovely responses and encouragement from the wonderment of the alternate universe that is Twitter. It was amazing. That led to a timely phone call to a very good listener, followed by some sage and sound advice at least woke up my ability to think. There are big decisions going on in my life right now. Some that require action and others just require acknowledging they exist. Being a person of action I am wont to let the ones sit there that need to sit there, but realize I really have no other choice.

And sitting there is what they need to do. They are not urgent. They just feel urgent. Being urgent and feeling urgent are, apparently, very different things. They are not going anywhere (I think) and so I will let them be.

I love how vague this is coming across. Would you like some specifics? Okay, I will share what I can.

I need to make a big decision about my business. It may need to go away and I need to be okay with that.

I am in the process of applying to nursing school. This requires immediate action. So action I have taken. Info meeting coming up on June 9 followed by prerequisite classes starting in the fall. If all actions are completed successfully, nursing school will commence in June 2010. I have had nothing but positive reinforcement and feedback about this decision, so apparently, I may have finally stumbled upon something.

School is winding down. Summer will be upon us in 2 weeks. My kids need a break and so do I. We will spend the summer swimming, probably playing too much Wii and working in the garden. They do have a little bit of work and reading to do but we will keep it light. It’s time to be a kid.

I am embarking on a wellness mission. I’ve been gradually working my way into it over the last four weeks (contributing depression factor?) and will begin in earnest on Friday. This is one of those things that requires action and patience. An acceptance that immediate gratification is not possible.

Do I need medication? Maybe. I haven’t gotten any. I should probably look into finding a therapist. The complexities that bring all this about are daunting. I put that on a back burner to simmer.

The scatteredness of this post is a good indication to the scatteredness of my mind. Obviously some things need to change. I’m working on them. Thanks for checking in on  me.

Posted in: About, Daily.

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